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Sex After Baby

Easing Back into Intimacy

By Felicia Hodges

After months of anticipation, the newest member of your family arrives. And although you've waited for what seems like an eternity to see what color eyes or hair he would have, there is another event you've equally longed for: the return to physical intimacy with your partner.

"I was so looking forward to meeting this little person I'd shared a body with for so long that I completely forgot about that part," says Rita Moore*, a social worker from New York.

But sex was a main concern for her husband. At her first postpartum appointment, his primary question was: "When can we have sex again?"

"I was a little surprised about that," she says. "I think it was because I was more interested in seeing my toes again than anything as far as my body was concerned."

"The key is to wait until a woman's bleeding has stopped, as that signals that the placental site has healed inside the uterus," Kropp says. "This can happen as early as four weeks or not until much later."

Even once the uterine bleeding has ceased, other physical changes such as sore breasts or vaginal dryness and tenderness from the delivery can also dampen a new mom's sex drive. "Fatigue is [also] a tremendous issue," Kropp says. "The common thread that I hear is that 'sleep is so important that lovemaking can be considered a waste of good sleep time.' This is perfectly understandable as none of us do well with little or no sleep for long."

Want to see more?

• Entering as a Husband, Exiting as a Father
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