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Sexuality After Baby
Gentle Ways to Reignite Your
Sex Life
Sex Life
By Laura Paul
But what if a man simply does not find his wife attractive and, frankly, can't give a sincere compliment? Blodgett says in that case, self-gratification might be the best alternative. "There should be no offense taken if he is considerate of her sexual needs," she says. 
Women need reassurance, communication, as well as the sweet tokens of affection. At the same time, most women are intuitive enough to tell when a man is being disingenuous or telling her white lies. "She feels beautiful as a mother, but not as a woman, so he needs to tell her how she looks to him, how he feels, how much she means to him," Blodgett says. "As well as the man self-pleasuring, I advise the woman to do so as well postpartum. Many women feel that they should not be having sexual feelings at this time. They are concerned that they get stimulated sexually by the suckling at the breast by the infant. Reassurance is needed that they are not degenerates – it is perfectly normal."
Finally, be honest about worries outside of the bedroom before igniting the flames of romance. Talk about the financial impact of having a new baby, the in-laws and other concerns that weigh heavily on the mind. "If any other underlying concern has not been addressed, the results could be disastrous," Blodgett says. "So, once again, the key is to talk, share, identify common areas of concern. It need not be awkward. Communication of love, caring, tenderness can be conveyed by most men (albeit sometimes difficult for them to do), and the result will be the sharing of a wonderful experience. The young man is to forget performance; this is the time for participation."
